Dual....:-)
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
