I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
