also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
