She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
