Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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