So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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