Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
