You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
