Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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