clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
