whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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