Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
