i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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