I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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