Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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