Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
