no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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