i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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