That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
being pregnant is like rehab
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
