and she was petting her beer can
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
