The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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