I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
