Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize