I'm lost and stupid without you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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