that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
