Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day

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  (609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day http://tfl.nu/6lmw
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.

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  (201): Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else. http://tfl.nu/yjnf
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.

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  (614): Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash. http://tfl.nu/fkwm
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win

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  (609): Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win http://tfl.nu/6ut9
  Replies (43) Good night (564) Bad night (3892) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.

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  (716): i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man. http://tfl.nu/v8cz
  Replies (6) Good night (1963) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from

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  (702): the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from http://tfl.nu/ac6d
  Replies (9) Good night (710) Bad night (3134) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours

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  (610): You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours http://tfl.nu/b1w1
  Replies (5) Good night (2614) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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  (575): I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend. http://tfl.nu/kkwb
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth

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  (434): I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth http://tfl.nu/xnjt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.

  (1248): View more from

  That'll put some boobs in that bra.

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  (248): No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it. (1248): That'll put some boobs in that bra. http://tfl.nu/9gj6
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.

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  (330): I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one. http://tfl.nu/be90
  Replies (3) Good night (457) Bad night (1220)
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  (323): View more from California

  but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

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  (323): but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA" http://tfl.nu/kezs
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (267)
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  (585): View more from New York

  A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment

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  (585): A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment http://tfl.nu/nqpl
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

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  (+61): Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart" http://tfl.nu/icuk
  Replies (3) Good night (1483) Bad night (246)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (387) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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