Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"