No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.