Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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