i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We don't watch enough power rangers
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not