Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
