we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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