I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then he peed in my hair
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
