Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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