you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
