Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
