Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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