i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
