capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
