I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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