The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
