My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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