I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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