My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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