Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
