You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You smell like a Billy Joel song
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
