Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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