i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize