Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
