Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
