..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
