she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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