Your mouth is God's brothel.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
