I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Are we still banned from the library?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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