the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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