so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
