What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
