Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
