Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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