my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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