I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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